I am reminded of a line of a song, I may take the low road in but I want to take the high road out. And that is a very true statement, nobody wants to actually experience or wallow in pain. Depression I don't see as a mental handicap, I see it as a choice. You do not have to stay down, though many do. But why do some stay sad and why do some pick themselves up and carry on? The answer to that question would depend on who you ask it too. You ask to a person who is in the middle of heartache and they will tell you they can't see past their pain, you ask someone who has pulled through it and some will tell you they stayed positive, others will tell you they got high or drunk, others will say they just accept whatever they can get regardless of the outcome, others still will tell you it was God who pulled them through.
But why is it different? You ask anyone of those people (perhaps other than the perpetually high and drunk person, because lets face it that is just a temporary fix) and they will tell you that their way is the only way to go. Their way is the best, so everyone should listen to them because hey it worked for them so it will work for all, right? What if that isn't it at all, what if there is something more to pulling out of a depressed state.
Everyone at some point in their life has felt the pain of heartache, and if you say you haven't I would have to call you a liar. Heartache is different for everyone and thing that causes someone to feel pain differs greatly. Some it's the lost of a pet, some it's the lost of a family member, some it's finding out you are adopted, some it's when your parents divorce. To the person experiencing those things their heartache maybe great when others would look at them and say REALLY??? that's nothing let me tell you . . . . fill in the blank. But that isn't the good response to a person's pain, that just makes you look heartless, cold and have no empathy for another human being. (by the way the usual go to response is "O my gosh I'm so sorry")
I once read a book called "Why do bad things happen to good people" in fact I read the entire thing to my brother as he lay fighting for his life in a hospital bed. Even though a choice lead him there it didn't matter, here was my brother, my flesh, my blood, and he was dying before my eyes. I heard lots and lots of talk about miracles and God was going to pull him out of this because he was a Christian same as me. Yet here I was reading a book about a christian pastor who lost his 4 year old son. And I couldn't help but feel this sting of pain for the person I was reading about. Here he was a pastor praying out to God to save his son, he was losing a child and there was nothing any of the doctors could do for him so he prayed, had his church, family and friends praying for him just as everyone was praying for my brother and yet he still lost his child and my brother pulled through. Why would God choose to save my brother not this pastor's son (or even the pastor I know right now in Reche Canyon Rehab center who is a vegetable after a stroke 7 years ago) , how could I tell this person who believes the same as me, God performs miracles look he saved my brother, when this dad is morning the loss of his child?(or the wife of the pastor in Reche Canyon who has been praying for 7 years for a miracle without the slightest sign of hope)
I've heard every possible answer to the silent questions I wasn't asking . Those answers to why is this happening to me, we don't deserve this, do not work at all. Nobody in the middle of pain wants to hear that God has a purpose, that God wanted this or God will do this. Because when the pain turns south and that person dies how can one stop from hating God because He must have wanted this or that or so we are told. How can I just accept that someone is gone because God wanted it. How can horrible heartache make sense if God is in control? Couldn't He have stopped it because if He loved his children He wouldn't want them to suffer by no fault of their own, right? If He is total control then why do his children suffer? If you believe in a all loving, all knowing, powerful God then wouldn't his children never feel pain. And if you do believe that then most of the time that question is followed by this one, if he does love us, and if our pain has a purpose then why do "good" people suffer?
Sometimes it is not asking the question but finding the answer that gets us in trouble. I think of God as this, He is all knowing, all powerful, and knows the answer to every possible question but He does not know what question we are going to ask. He knows what will happen in every situation but does not know what situation we will be in because He does not know what choice we will make. We have free will as human beings and we are the only thing on this planet that has this unique feature So how does that fit into someone who child has been murdered? it was the murders choice to take the life. How does that fit into someone who has been adopted? it was the birth parents choice to give up their child. How does that fit into a person who has been in a serious car accident because of alcohol and is now a vegetable? it was because of that person's choice to drink and drive. How does that fit into someone getting better after being on death's door? it was because that person choose to take amazing care of themselves before such and such happened.
So how does that work with miracles? Because without believing in the miracles one can not be a christian. I see miracles as such, not a grand saving of a person (though that does sometimes happen) but small miracles that happen everyday, all day to every walk of life. I see the drug addict who has been one for a number of years finally give it up as miracle. I see the person who has experience the murder of a child, thrive and want to help others as a miracle. I see the person who has cancer that can not be cured, smiling and living life until their last moment as the miracle. I see the person who has been through something that would be unbearable to others, live their life, smiling, and happy as a miracle. I see the atheist who on there death bed accept Christ as their savior as a miracle.
Being a miracle (because I have been through life altering emotional pain and I am sitting here ten years later still surviving and thriving) and believing in them for something that is not the popular belief (especially in the christian circles) is something that has labeled me as negative, hopeless, or being a unbeliever. I am here to tell you I am none of these things. And what would I say to the person who has no hope for the good outcome, who feels there is no way out of their pain? I would tell them this, Hang in there, life doesn't get better, you become better at handling it. Your pain is not worthless though it may feel like it right now. There is hope and there is a purpose even if it is to learn what not to do. Now is not the time for reflection, that is for later, right now is time to put one foot in front of the other and to never stop moving forward.
Miracles are something that happens when you change your outlook on life, when you start asking the right question and seeking the right answers. Become a truth-seeker not a lie-follower and that my friends is the miracle.
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