so why start a blog?

I was always the quiet one.  Never had more than a few words to say to anyone, I often wondered what they were all looking at, why I never made friends quickly, why I felt "different"?  That answer came to me the morning of December 27, 2003.  That date has been the rebirth of "Rina", the date when all my questions were answered and yet raised thousands more at the same time. . . . . . . . I tell you that to tell you this, I was married at the time to a man who I thought I loved, with a brand new two month old daughter.  My parents had been married for a wonderful 22 years, and I was just about to turn 20.  I had two younger sisters, and a younger brother, all of whom I love dearly.  The days, weeks, and years prior to that fateful December day, made sense, they were routine and normal.  Nothing ever changed it seemed like, my life was "perfect".

That day I had went to parents home for reasons I can't even remember, I was greeted by my mother, her eyes were filled with tears.  "I have something, to tell you." ,  she stated it in a way that I knew something horrible was about to be said.  "I have to tell you, that your dad is not your biological father."  To this day some 7 years later, I still cry.  It is forever burned in my memory, forever ringing in my ears.  It has forever changed me into the person who is sitting here today.  It wasn't until I started studying psychology that I learned, the healing process is still and most liking will be happening for the rest of my life.  It is in the back of my head with every step I make, something often struggle with it, and the only thing that gets me through my everyday is prayer.  I am a walking example that there is a powerful, caring, loving God.  He has a purpose, and a reason as to why this happened to me.  He has blessed me with three wonderful children, that have saved my life.

 I only recently discovered that I have been in a grieving process.  Grieving for "family" that was no longer the family I had known all these years.   I also lost something a lot of people take for granted, the stability of knowing who you are, and what you stand for.  What God is teaching me through all this is not to take anything for granted, He has shown me that one day everything I know can be gone. It has made my every day sweeter and have more meaning.

Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.